For When Everyone Else’s Life Is Great And You Desperately Want To Be Like Them

MendMaker Exercise: Session written and explained by your coach Claire Anstey

Comparison is Poison

Stop Comparing yourself to other people, their relationships and happiness. It is all in your head, it doesn’t exist and why cause yourself more pain. Comparing yourself to others is something you are going to do when you feel like your world has ended and that everyone you know lives a perfect life with Mr or Mrs right but this reaction cannot become a bad habit.

Comparing yourself to other people’s happiness, contentment and perfect relationship just creates a false reality in your mind. We do not know what goes on behind closed doors. The perfect lives we create in our mind do not exist and it is a bad science experiment that just leads you to false results. You are not the same as anyone else so how can you compare your greatness to another’s.

Every one is different – remember it. Stop being afraid of yourself – you are important and perfect as you are. You do not need a relationship or any materialistic stuff to prove your worth. You already have everything you need.

And the grass is not always greener and the irony of all this is that the person you are currently jealous of could be thinking the same about your singleness as the reality of their relationship is not what you think. The best way to get out of this new annoying habit of comparing your crap life with everyone else’s marvel is to start by appreciating the differences and the benefits of your uniqueness.

You are going to write three lists, on three separate pieces of paper and you are not going to stop until each A4 piece is finished. One page is to be filled with all your amazing and unique qualities. What is it that you and others like about yourself? The other is to be filled with your pride. Fill it with all the things you have achieved and all the things that make you proud to be you. You may find this page easier if you start it with the sentence ‘I am proud to be me because’ the third and final piece of paper is to be filled with all the reasons you love being single.

I don’t really want you to focus too much on the people you have been comparing yourself too as this is not about turning the thoughts you have had about their great life into crap laughable ones but it may help you to look at them with fresh eyes and see what they have to deal with because they are in a relationship, have a mortgage and a cat that you don’t want in your life. You are free of all this stress and responsibility so be pleased about it. You don’t have to wash your partner’s pants anymore and NO MORE FARTING in bed.

And think about this, yes you can compare your life to your best friends as much as you want but do you really really want to swap lives and relationships with them. Your focus should only ever be on you. You should only ever listen to your own hearts desire.

Never judge yourself by other people’s standards and situations as you will miss out the adventure that is YOUR LIFE (not theirs).