Mirror Mirror

MendMaker Exercise: Session written and explained by your coach Claire Anstey

Show Yourself Some Love

“Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" You are.

Damn Right. And you're going to tell yourself every time you see a mirror. for now and forever. Ok this sounds vain. It's not! just trust me. Actually you don't need me, it is all about you and that's exactly who you're going to speak to. You, that lovely little bugger shining right back at you when you look in the mirror. We lie to ourselves daily, one more bite won't hurt, they won't mind if I do this, the list goes on but have you ever tried to lie to yourself whilst looking yourself in the eye. Whilst holding your gaze and looking deep into your soul via your eyeballs.

You just can't, our body, our mind and our soul just physically aren't made to function that way. We are all about truth, it can sometimes get us in shit loads of difficulty but when we work with truth it always manages to work itself out and the weight just slides off your shoulders once it's released. It is now time to stop being frightened of your truth and to get some confidence with knowing what your truth actually means to you. The following exercise may feel strange at first but it is extremely powerful. To gain truth and trust with yourself you're going to talk to yourself via a good old-fashioned mirror. Talking to ourselves in the mirror is not the first sign of madness. It is about talking to your inner you and it enables you to gain some self esteem for your subconscious. You are able to use your own words to feed some good stuff to the bad memories that lie deep in the cells that make up your body and that need your release.

TASK

Find a mirror, a bathroom or bedroom mirror is good as it allows for you to be totally alone with yourself. Find a comfortable position either sitting or standing and look at yourself in the mirror.

Be close. Take a moment to actually look properly at your face, focus on the shape of your chin, look closely at your skin, is it glowing or showing signs of chocolate abuse? Then gradually draw yourself into your own eyes and look deeply into them. Look even deeper into your eyes, know that they connect deep within your soul, your spirit, and the inner you. Feel that knowing in your gut as you stare face to face, possibly for the first time at the person you ignore the most, you.

It's now time to talk to you. It is now time to tell yourself why you love you. Look yourself in the eye and say Bert I love you, I really do love you. believe it, even if it feels awkward and fake. Repeat it over and over again. And use your own name, unless of course if you are called Bert. And then just go with whatever needs to come out. If you need to apologise, do it, apologise for all the hurt you've caused yourself. Apologise for not listening to your warning signs and allowing yourself to be mistreated. Take as long as you need, cry as hard as you like and make sure you are always looking deep into your eyes and say your name as you address yourself.

Understand that you only ever did what you thought was the best option at the time. Understand that you only behaved in a way that was available to you mentally and physically at the time. Then forgive yourself and let it go. Look in your eyes and know it's ok and very importantly do not forget to thank yourself, do it, be proud of what you know is good. Say it and say why. What are the reasons that you are proud of yourself? Say it over and over again and let the emotion just pour out with it. ‘Bert I am so proud of you because…’

Keep going until you feel it's time to stop. Then just before you step away take one extra special stare into your eyes, the windows to your soul and tell yourself again that you love yourself and why. Give the mirror a big huge kiss, well done you.

This exercise is a toughie but shit man it feels so good to get it all out. How often should you do this exercise? That is up to you. Talking to yourself in the mirror can allow you to release and let go of the past, it can be used to build your self-esteem and confidence and when repeated over and over again 'I love you Bert' can become an affirmation that you could do daily after brushing your teeth.

Have a chat with yourself in the mirror; I am sure together you will work out what works best for you.