When You Don’t Know Who You Are Anymore

MendMaker Exercise: Session written and explained by your coach Claire Anstey

Rediscover You

Session Length: 10 minutes to several hours, depending on introspection depth.

Note from Claire Anstey: The 'When You Don’t Know Who You Are Anymore MendMaker Exercise' invites you to embark on a journey of self-discovery, reigniting the passions and dreams that define your essence. Born from my own experience of identity loss following a relationship's end, this exercise is designed to clear the fog of collective identity and reconnect you with your individual aspirations and desires. It’s a process of peeling back the layers of compromise to reveal the core of your personal ambitions and dreams. By dedicating time to profoundly question and envision your ideal future, you pave the way for a life crafted on your terms, not shaped by others’ expectations. This exercise isn’t just about dreaming; it’s a structured path to rediscovering and embracing the full spectrum of your individuality, empowering you to shape a future that resonates with your deepest self.

MendMaker

If you were anything like I was you were so wrapped up in being a couple and being there for your partner that now that they are gone you are a little confused on what to do, what you want and who you are. You always put them first and forgot about yourself and now that you only have your ‘me myself and I’ to worry about your not sure what to worry about first. Some how my life long dream of living in New York changed to opening a bar in India and I definitely changed my outfits to suit my man. So when he was gone, what was I left with?

When the future we have planned out with our partner becomes a solo trip the fear and pain are a lot to deal with and it can cloud our knowing of who we truly are.

When was the last time you actually reminded yourself of your individuality and asked yourself what you want from your future? My future as far as I was concerned was over when I got dumped, I was going to be single forever and live with my parents until I died. This of course is bloody ridiculous, even I knew that at the time deep down but seeing any clearer than that when you feel so destitute is nigh on impossible. That is until you actually sit back for a few minutes and change your focus and stop judging your life by everyone else’s standards.

MendMaker Exercise:

It is time to rediscover you by asking yourself some questions. It is time to remember your hopes, dreams and desires. Take each question and write it on the top of a piece of paper and then question by question make a big huge list, keep going until the page is full. It may take 10 minutes, it make take a whole day or longer, stick with it as your hopes and your dreams will all come flooding back to you.

And don’t deny yourself a new relationship in the future, if you know what you want and you are ready, start writing it down as it is all part of the master plan  that lies within you that you forgot about when you started following the desires of someone else.

Questions:

1: How would you like your life to be? Imagine you have all the money you should ever need for these activities or quests. This really is about you putting your hearts desire on paper. Dream Big, go wild, really do write out your dream life.

2: How do you see your life in 10 years time? Put your hearts desire onto the paper.

3: What would you regret not doing before you die?

If you feel inspired and think of another questions you would like to know the answer write that on a piece of paper and list your answers. Once you have opened these possibilities within you and feel inspired you really wont want to stop.

And the great thing is you don’t need to, you really can create the life of your dreams.