When Everyone Else’s Good News Makes You BITTER

20-Minute MendMaker Exercise: Session written and explained by your coach Claire Anstey

When Everything In Your World Has Gone Wrong It Is So Hard Not To Feel The Blow When Others Talk About Their Bliss.

Within 5 months of my breakup two of my best friends got engaged, one got pregnant, one bought her own flat and then my younger brother proposed to his girlfriend. I was deeply happy for all of them but I would be lying if I said it didn’t affect me at the time. Thinking that my wedding cake would be turned into their engagement cake was just too much to cope with.

For months every time I would hear of other peoples good news I would get a huge burning of emotion in my throat.

When everything in your world has gone wrong it is so hard not to feel the blow when others talk about their bliss. I would get totally envious and use the “why not me” syndrome. Why does she have everything, why is life so easy for him. I try so hard and I get shat on all the time. Life isn’t fair!

Feeling sorry for your self is allowed. But just for a bit, and then it has to stop.

You need to find the empowerment within the change you are experiencing otherwise you just become sorry for yourself and it causes you to give off the most unattractive vibe to others.

What we focus on we get more of, our vibe attracts what we think about most. Your subconscious will start to believe that everything good only happens to other people and that you only want to attract idiots, liars, cheats and fools if you remain in this negative state of mind. It will start to do exactly what you tell it and you will meet more idiots, liars cheats and fools, exactly what you don’t really want. You see the subconscious has no filter it doesn’t understand your complex mind, it doesn’t understand that although you are focusing on a negative such as “good stuff only happens to others” you really mean “I want good stuff too, I want it all the time, I want to be a huge success in love, life and all.”

So how do we tell our subconscious what we actually want when we just cant help dwelling on our pain. The key is to join others in their experience of joy. When we allow ourselves to experience their joy we will be also creating the emotion within our own self and this allows for us to start attracting joyous experiences into our life. Remember you are what you think and feel about most. It is time to really experience their joy. Actually feel it in your tummy, be excited, a fake smile is not good enough. You have to create the emotion inside if you. Be happy when other people have what you wish for. Them having what you want is proof that good stuff, fairytale relationships and dreams do come true. When all your chips are down don’t hate them remember that they are doing you a favour by reminding you that these things are still possible. Yes it will be hard at first but celebrate with them knowing that when your time comes they will celebrate with you as well.

MENDMAKER EXERCISE:

To help you lift yourself out of your “why me” mood your Mend Maker is your very own personal inventory. A personal inventory enables you stop feeling so sorry for yourself. It is a physical list of all the blessings in your own life. All the things you are thankful for. Your eyesight, your family, and your friends have been supporting you through this tough time; add them to your list. Add your good looks, your loyalty, kindness and good sense of style.

Write a list 60 things by the end of today and keep adding something daily until you have reached 100.

If you are finding yourself falling back into moments of envy and jealousy keep your personal inventory handy and read it to yourself every time you feel like you have absolutely nothing going for you and when you feel like your life is over and your going to be on your own forever.

It is all to easy for us to fall of the wagon when if comes to keeping our emotions stable whilst experiencing the pain of a break up but little simple steps like taking 5 minutes to read this list will get you back on the straight and narrow.