Don’t Let Strength Be Your Weakness

MendMaker Exercise: Session written and explained by your coach Claire Anstey

It’s Time To Scream And Shout At The Top Of Your Voice

Session Length: 3-minute read. The duration of the screaming session is up to you but we advise that you give yourself 5-10 minutes.

Note from Claire Anstey: In this 'Don’t Let Strength Be Your Weakness MendMaker Exercise', I delve into the transformative power of vocal release to navigate through the tumult of a broken heart and suppressed emotions. This practice is more than a mere emotional outlet; it’s a cathartic journey to reclaiming inner peace and physical relief. Born from personal turmoil and a moment of unexpected breakdown, this exercise underscores the profound connection between our emotions and physical well-being. As I navigated my own path of heartache and healing, the act of screaming served as a pivotal release, helping me—and potentially you—to confront and expel the inner chaos. It’s a testament to the surprising efficacy of raw, unfiltered expression in mending the spirit and body alike.

MendMaker

Writing this book has been one of the most exhilarating times of my life, just knowing that I am able to communicate and share all the stuff that I have learnt and used to sort my own crap out has felt amazing. I just didn't expect to put it to the test with a newly broken heart as we came close to print. I have gone from relationship bliss to melt down and heart ache and without sounding like a wanker I have honestly done all I can to use what I know and what I have shared with you to get back on track.

When our heart breaks we become like a pendulum swinging from our rational mind to the pieces of our broken heart. Getting balance is hard and we become desperate for it, sometimes so desperate we don't allow ourselves the full grieving process we need. We are ashamed that things haven't worked out, we don't want to keep boring our friends and often we don't tell them the whole truth. We get involved with liars, cheats and freak shows. We are blinded by love but never shielded from pain.

I like that you are good at helping others; I am a great listener and give out advice so full of wisdom I even shock myself. But when it comes to my own situation, I let go to a point but very quickly dust myself off, stay calm and carry on. This time I soon learned that just because I couldn't face it didn't mean it had gone away. Every now and then something would happen that would tip me over the edge and I would feel like I was about to explode. The hatred, hurt and frustration was slowly boiling away inside waiting for a rainy day.

Then one day a friend told me to scream, we were in the traffic in her car, I was crying and my conversation about it all was going round in circles. My dear friend told me to stop talking and just scream. I thought she was insane and I had no idea where she had got this method of madness from but she counted to 3 and we did it. We screamed until we ran out of breath, we screamed again and again and again and from that moment on it all seemed to change.

The pain in my throat disappeared, my shoulder stopped aching and I trembled like I had been having multiple orgasms all night. It felt amazing, and since then 20 minute car journeys have never been the same.

What many of us don't realize is that our mind and our emotions have a huge effect on our body, we all know someone who knows someone whose Gran died of a broken heart 48 hours after her husband. Our emotions rule our bodies whether we like it or not. If we don't get our emotions out it will make us ill, it will send us crazy.

TASK

Get in your car and go for a drive. If you haven't got a car, try an open space, just remember you don't want anyone to think you are being murdered so make sure no one is around. And then when the surroundings feel right scream. There won't ever be a right time for this so don't wait, take that chance and go for it.

Scream and shout at the top of your voice, shout at the person you need to, shout out, actually imagine them in front of you. If you aren't actually driving imagine yourself punching the hell out of them if it helps, physically do the movement, go for it. It may make no sense but if it feels right just scream it out and shout until you feel physically exhausted. You will feel the pain tingle and move from your body. You will feel bloody fantastic.

For those that really can't find the relevant place to make noise it is ok (although this is amazing so do try harder). you can get the same sense of release from punching your bedroom pillows. Cry, shout and imagine you are hitting whatever or whoever you need too. Get that shitty anger and pain out of your body. Punch and go for it until you are exhausted.