Because You’re Jealous And You Don’t Know Why

MendMaker Exercise: Session written and explained by your coach Claire Anstey

What We Resist Persists – So Indulge In It.

Session Length: Varies, typically around 20-30 minutes per session

Session Benefits: The "Because You’re Jealous And You Don’t Know Why" MendMaker Exercise is a transformative experience designed to help you confront and understand the deep-seated emotions of jealousy and envy. By allowing yourself to fully indulge in these feelings, this exercise guides you to uncover the underlying causes, often linked to self-esteem issues or unmet desires. It offers a safe space to explore these intense emotions, leading to profound insights about your self-worth and expectations. As you ask yourself why you feel this way, you'll begin to unravel the personal narratives that fuel these feelings, leading to a cathartic release and a clearer, lighter state of mind. This process not only helps dissolve the negative emotions but also enhances your emotional intelligence and self-awareness, empowering you to foster healthier relationships and a more positive outlook on life.

Introduction

I am a great believer in fully experiencing your emotions so that you can own them. Once you own them you can lose them and you do this by working out how to get through them and thus change them to positive ones.

Jealousy and envy feel like such nasty emotions that even my own beliefs struggled at first when I discovered this exercise. Part of me thought that I was a bad person for feeling this way so the idea of indulging in these feelings didn’t seem right, even with all the experience and knowledge that I have.

But I trusted and I did the exercise, and I got to the other side understanding why I had these emotions. By allowing myself to fully experience them I opened myself up and allowed myself to create understanding.

I discovered that on the surface I had managed to convince myself that I was feeling bad about feeling jealous of other people whom I loved dearly. But when I looked deep down I realised that this was just a cover up story that I had fed myself. I was actually feeling bad because I thought that I wasn’t good enough to experience what they had. My issue was with lack of self-esteem. My jealousy was hiding my truth and the truth was that deep down I didn’t feel good enough to have good stuff in my life and this included marriage, babies and all that adult relationship stuff.

By telling yourself that you shouldn’t feel jealous you will never be able to get it out of your system. If you can bring your awareness to it like I did you will allow yourself to understand where this emotion truly comes from.

By deliberately focusing on it and asking yourself why, you get the answers from deep inside and the emotion leaves you.

This MendMaker is an alternative way of getting to the same answer from your ego that you are trying to reach in other MendMakers in this section. You may find you work better by seeing things visually in your mind or by seeing your answers on paper or you may need to physically feel the emotion in your 42 body. There is no right or wrong and you will find your favourite way of working but do try each MendMaker a couple of times before you start choosing favourites.

MendMaker Exercise:

Find a place alone, close your eyes and relax. You may find that lying or sitting on your bed in the privacy of your bedroom would be good for this. Allow your feelings of envy and jealousy to come to the surface. Really experience them. Go over the situations in your mind that create these emotions. Where can you feel this jealousy in your body, is it in your throat, stomach or chest. What exactly are you jealous and envious about, really feel those reasons and ask yourself deep inside why you are feeling how you a feeling. Keep asking your self the question until you get an answer that frees you.

This may sounds a bit hippy but when you get to the right answer you body will change, it will feel lighter and your head will clear. Trust that you will know and keep going until you have this feeling. As the answers come to you the emotion will dissolve and only when this happens is it time to bring your 43 awareness back to the room and open your eyes. If you don’t get your answers, do not worry.

Everyone is individual and it is important to work at your own pace. Repeat this exercise until you do get your answer, it will come. You are making huge changes within your emotions and growth each time you do any MendMaker so know that every moment of time you spend on them is doing you good.